![\"p1080340\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/P1080340.jpg\")
<\/a><\/p>\nVerkligheten \u00e4r \u00e4ven den att jag blir lycklig av \u00e5rstidsv\u00e4xlingen.<\/p>\n
Sensommarens lugn, dimman, den sakta sjunkande temperaturen.<\/p>\n
F\u00e4rgerna, dofterna, ljuden i den st\u00e4ndigt skiftande naturen.<\/p>\n
Havet…<\/p>\n
Jag njuter av varje saltst\u00e4nk som tr\u00e4ffar mina sinnen.<\/p>\n
Jag l\u00e4ngtar efter att f\u00e5 anv\u00e4nda kroppen, h\u00e4nderna.<\/p>\n
L\u00e4ngtar s\u00e5 efter att f\u00e5 l\u00e4ra mig k\u00f6ra mer b\u00e5t, st\u00f6rre b\u00e5t.<\/p>\n
Det kliar i hela mig av ot\u00e5lighet, jag l\u00e4ngtar s\u00e5!<\/p>\n
Febrilt snurrar min radar\u00a0p\u00e5 jakt efter mitt sammanhang.<\/p>\n
Verkligen \u00e4r den att jag helt pl\u00f6tsligt finner mig skriva och skicka sm\u00e5 meddelanden kors och tv\u00e4rs.<\/p>\n
Meddelanden om att jag vill hugga i, att jag har ett par n\u00e4var.<\/p>\n
Vars\u00e5god, h\u00e4r \u00e4r jag, jag jobbar g\u00e4rna n\u00e5gra timmar!<\/p>\n
Och verkligheten svarar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Mitt i verkligheten.<\/p>\n
Skitr\u00e4dd. Fram\u00e5t.<\/p>\n
Verkligheten \u00e4r s\u00e5dan att jag \u00e4r skitr\u00e4dd. Verkligheten \u00e4r att jag inte har en aning om vad jag h\u00e5ller p\u00e5 med. Verkligheten \u00e4r att jag verkligen, verkligen k\u00e4nner mig som en j\u00e4ttekorkad m\u00e4nniska. F\u00f6r att jag har gjort dumdristiga val. … Continued<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1014,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_oct_exclude_from_cache":false,"kt_blocks_editor_width":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Verklighet","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2881,18,1,265],"tags":[],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bruin.se\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/P1080340.jpg?fit=4000%2C3000&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p7ETe6-gk","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1012"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1019,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1012\/revisions\/1019"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1014"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1012"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1012"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bruin.se\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1012"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"